Finding a topic for this week's blog was proving difficult, but I found my inspiration after watching a TV program yesterday evening. I was flipping though the channels and I came upon a reality program that was ready to announce a winner among four finalists. But before the winner is announced a sequence of events takes place. I think TV producers do this just to drive people crazy. 

First, there is the four minute commercial break that seems like forty. There are the usual commercials, some of them are really well done, but the ones that drive me nuts are those that end with "Call 1-800-555-5555 for this really neat product, once again call 1-800-555-5555, don't delay call 1-800-555-5555 and if you are among the first 100 callers we will double the offer, that's 1-800-555-555", call now!" WILL YOU SHUT UP! I don't want to buy your stupid product. That's why TV remotes have a MUTE button and I thank God for mine.

Okay, back to the program. Repeat the last 30 seconds for the benefit of those who took a bio break and were late returning. Then the next part of the sequence begins. We are ready to find out the winner. What we've been waiting for. The one who will reign supreme.

(Cue suspenseful music and dramatic pauses)

Robert So-And-So . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  You have lost!

(Cue hugs and tears of farewell. Robert appears calm, but is actually ready to take a swing at someone.)

Okay, he's out. Who's next?

(Cue the music again)

Amy Doe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You have lost!

(Cue more tears, hugs, and farewells. Rule # 1: NEVER make a woman angry. Rule # 2: See Rule # 1)

Okay, two down and two to go. I wish they would hurry up.

One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will be the winner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The other . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will go home  . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

(Enough of this music already! And the the length of the dramatic pauses now double in duration.)

So . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jane  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ficticious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Are  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

THE WINNER!

(Cue hugs, tears of joy, applause, and triumphal music. Amen! Halleluiah!) 

Okay. Cool. What's on after this? Is it time for "Pawnstars"?

Look, I know that TV producers just want to add suspense to these types of programs, but this type of programming does does nothing for me. Just announce the winner and be done with it. Does Monty Python's famous line "Get On With It!" come to mind here? Maybe it's because I am very analytical and suspense does nothing for me. I want the answer and I want it NOW! And I must admit, as hard as I have tried to acquire it over the years, patience has eluded me like a clever buck eludes a hunter.

And so ends this week's banter about reality TV programming. Thanks for putting up with my warped sense of humor.

Next time, I will return to writing about photography. With the holidays coming up, I would like to share some ideas and thoughts about digital cameras and digital photography. Do you why histograms are important? I will tell you and show you how to read them. iPhones take great photographs (I have one), but photography really becomes fun when you control the camera rather than just setting the camera to "Auto". With ski season coming up, I will show you how to take great photographs on snow.

Until next time,

Paul